Who Should You Love?

"It is difficult to love persons of other races, cultures or classes, even though it is perfectly possible for a light-skinned man to love a dark-skinned woman, for her to love a Chinese, for a "gentleman" to love his maid."(Octavio Paz, The Labyrinth of Solitude, 199)

I believe the more similarities that you have with a person, the easier it is to fall in love with them. In The Labyrinth of Solitude, Paz discusses how it is difficult to love someone who you are not very similar to. He then goes on to say that though it is difficult, you could still possibly fall in love with someone unlike you.

Paz's quote made me think of the group date that I was on this weekend. The group consisted of my fiancée and I (top picture), my tall blonde friend with blue eyes with his girlfriend who is also tall with blue eyes, and my tall African American friend and his tall African American girlfriend. The group of us were joking about how we all looked very similar to our respective partners. I was always taught that I should marry a woman who is similar to me, meaning socioeconomically, culturally, racially, similar goals, standards, and mindset. Even the brethren of the church counsel people to marry someone of the same race, culture, and socioeconomic background. I truly believe that human beings are innately more attracted to a person who has many similar qualities and physical features as them or to someone that they are accustomed to being around. As weird as it sounds, my father always told me that I was going to marry someone who is like my mother; and this April I will be getting married to a woman like my mother.

On the flip side, there are always exceptions to things. For instance, in Inés of my Soul, Inés comes from a very different socioeconomic background than her lover Pedro de Valdivia. Inés grew up as a poor seamstress, and Pedro was a powerful field marshal to the famed Francisco Pizarro.

Though I believe that it is much easier to marry someone who has as many similarities to you as possible, there are many instances where couples from completely different backgrounds meet, fall in love, and make it work out.